A few months back there was a matchmaking process going on for someone I know. In a discussion with her she alleged that men are highly suspicious beings. She said this based on the revelations made by the prospective matches. She said that most of the guys confessed that the first thing they immediately did after they get a match is try to locate someone who might have known the girl at any point in her life and the first thing they are going is to enquire is the girls character and her history. She also said that the intensity and the effort they spend in knowing the girls history surprises her.
Bases on my unlimited experience in exclusive male social groups and limited(a respectable word for zero) experience in female inclusive social groups, I felt that she may be right. Still, I tried defending men using the usual stereotypes of a suspicious lady being a better intelligence agent than NSA and better investigative agent than FBI but in vain.
Later after a few days when I read sociology textbooks I felt i have found the answer which is:
1) First and foremost in a patriarchal society women are confined to home and men are free and in fact encouraged to roam outside. This will result in a guy having more social contacts and that too in diverse social and geographical communities compared to lesser and more localised contacts of girls even though they may have same level of communication skills.
2) In a patriarchal society, value of men is measured by their social status and financial capacity and that of women by their character and ability to run a house. hence men will be more interested in knowing the "character" of a girl;
3) Finally, the social and financial status of men has a predominantly public dimension and hence enquiry can be done easily because the information is in public domain. But the ability to run a house is exhibited in a private space and hence cannot be easily accessed.
4)In addition (based on numerous firsthand experiences) there is a tendency in society to sweep under the carpet any "misdeeds" or any other shortcomings of women (not just those related to patriarchal mindset, even legitimate shortcomings like acute health problems and not just by friends or family of the bride but even by distant acquaintance even if the bridegroom is someone they know better) because destroying a woman's marriage is one of the greatest sin because marriage is woman's only destiny and destroying her marriage is equivalent to destroying her entire life. So, a man has to conduct the investigation with huge effort and dig a lot more deeper if he wants to find out truth about a woman.
When I offered this explanation initially she was surprised but later satisfied. And I was happy because I finally could see her respect for men increase even though a teeny tiny bit.. :)
P.S: The above views on worth of men and woman are not mine, they are just my understanding of the society.
Bases on my unlimited experience in exclusive male social groups and limited(a respectable word for zero) experience in female inclusive social groups, I felt that she may be right. Still, I tried defending men using the usual stereotypes of a suspicious lady being a better intelligence agent than NSA and better investigative agent than FBI but in vain.
Later after a few days when I read sociology textbooks I felt i have found the answer which is:
1) First and foremost in a patriarchal society women are confined to home and men are free and in fact encouraged to roam outside. This will result in a guy having more social contacts and that too in diverse social and geographical communities compared to lesser and more localised contacts of girls even though they may have same level of communication skills.
2) In a patriarchal society, value of men is measured by their social status and financial capacity and that of women by their character and ability to run a house. hence men will be more interested in knowing the "character" of a girl;
3) Finally, the social and financial status of men has a predominantly public dimension and hence enquiry can be done easily because the information is in public domain. But the ability to run a house is exhibited in a private space and hence cannot be easily accessed.
4)In addition (based on numerous firsthand experiences) there is a tendency in society to sweep under the carpet any "misdeeds" or any other shortcomings of women (not just those related to patriarchal mindset, even legitimate shortcomings like acute health problems and not just by friends or family of the bride but even by distant acquaintance even if the bridegroom is someone they know better) because destroying a woman's marriage is one of the greatest sin because marriage is woman's only destiny and destroying her marriage is equivalent to destroying her entire life. So, a man has to conduct the investigation with huge effort and dig a lot more deeper if he wants to find out truth about a woman.
When I offered this explanation initially she was surprised but later satisfied. And I was happy because I finally could see her respect for men increase even though a teeny tiny bit.. :)
P.S: The above views on worth of men and woman are not mine, they are just my understanding of the society.
